Excuse Me for a Second

by Calvin Pennix

​

         The first time I attempted flight I broke almost every bone in my body, was in the hospital for two months and lost my job.  It was definitely a low point in my life and my wife hates when I tell the story.

         “We were just sitting around at home one Sunday, I was missing the games anyway so I decided to give it a shot.  We were living on the 7th floor at the time; high enough to catch some speed and momentum.  I never caught that speed or momentum, clipped another balcony and woke up in ‘recovery’ unable to move.”

         He better not be telling that goddamn story.  Always with that stupid look on his face.

         “Excuse me for a second, I’m going to see if my husband needs another drink.”

         “Wait, is that it?  What made you think you could fly?”

         “Well, you know…”

         “Hey, Honey. Let’s get you another drink.”

         “I’m not done with this…”

         “Let’s get another drink.”

#

          “Why would you take this way, you know it has more lights.  You know, sometimes I think you do things to annoy me on purpose, like telling that fucking story.  I can’t bring you anywhere, ever, you’re such an embarrassment.  None of my work friends care that you tried to fly, I don’t even care that you tried to fly.  I knew I should have brought my sister instead of you.  The one time I get to socialize and you ruin it; I always have to babysit you.  Next time, I’m leaving you at home; from now on I’m leaving you at home. Turn here.  Were you going to miss the turn?  Jesus Christ.  I’m going to happy hour tomorrow after work so if you can manage, you’re on your own for dinner.  You know what meals I have planned so don’t touch my…”

         That night, I attempted flight for the second time.