Lemon Law

by Alan Meyrowitz

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     Everyone answers to somebody.

     God kneeled at the bottom of the staircase leading up to the throne of Super God.

     Super God’s face could not be seen, hidden as it was behind the blaze of a billion stars. Her 

voice was soft, her words comforting.

     “I welcome you again,” she said. “I know why you are here.”

     “You always know, Almightiest”.

     “I granted you the power to create Earth, but there have been problems.”

     “I would not burden you with the small ones.”

     “You were first here to discuss the dinosaurs.”

     “They were slow to give up dominance. Human evolution was suppressed.”

     “I gave you an Ice Age, and almost every dinosaur succumbed. But a time later, you were 

back here complaining about the Dark Ages.”

     “There was little curiosity. Intelligence in all its aspects was stifled.”

     “I gave you the Black Death, wiping out millions in Europe. In recovery there was a 

resurgence in wanting life to be better. It drew upon the memory of preserved ancient 

knowledge.”

     “It was indeed a Renaissance, a wonderful time for art and science.”
     “But now you are here again, and you fear a great catastrophe.”

     “Nuclear winter. The proliferation of nuclear weapons is very likely to spawn a war that will 

devastate everything for centuries.”

     “So, you bring me three major problems over the course of just one hundred thousand 

millennia.”

     “The law says—”

     “No need to lecture me on the law! I made the law. You may create a new Earth.”

     God said, “Thank you, my Queen of the universe,” and started to back away.

     Super God had another thought. “You mentioned having problems. Any example to 

mention?”

     “Adam was attracted to Eve. Eve was attracted to Adam, but even more so to the Tree of 

Knowledge and its forbidden fruit. I was inclined to just let them live with the consequences.”

     “Small problems have a way of becoming big ones. Three more and I’ll see you here, wanting 

a different Earth again.”

     She paused, considering options. “You should return to me for a status check, once every 

millennium. That way I can provide—”

     “Preventive maintenance.” 

     “Exactly.”