Ode to the Poems of Ross Gay
by Benjamin Bartu
forgive me; friends, Ross Gay, unsolicited
attentions, lovers of chocolate, great god but please
stop whatever it is you are doing
cartwheeling down the street
tangling in the reeds with love
staining your lips with the juice of birdshit wine
let me offer instead chocolate which
is to say, please
pay me attention! I have news
from front of house, i bear
fruit, have watched myself
striptease off my vinyl gloves
to press my palms against
the steely vats of
melted chocolate
that radiate with a heat which coats
your hands impossible
to repeat alone, I mean to say
never have I ever felt so warm,
in any summer or superior flush
of steam from the grate keeping me
above the metro and the petals
and it is
and i do not
say this lightly
the best. Even better
when the thirty-something customer
wearing his i love unicorns tee
waltzes in and takes me
from my burning fingers
to the cases where we keep
the truffles and as i
assemble his 24-piece
box asking if the food will be a gift and if
he needs a ribbon
he mumbles beneath his breath, something
to the tune of archery
and when i ask
could he repeat himself
he says orgy, i am going
to an orgy, and that he’s signed up
to bring chocolate and no,
a ribbon wouldn’t be appropriate. What
to do but laugh
all the walk home,
knowing that evening i would put
myself to bed and fall into sleep imagining
the partygoers
stuffing their faces
full with truffles
knees weak before the holiday feast.
It’s one more feeling
without a name, using your hands
to feed the people
who will feed each other.
So thank you, too
to the heat that allows me, and hearths,
and free association, and why not to you,
love, whose drifting off beside me
while i lie awake chuckling to myself
will be my most likely refuge:
i can win the small victory of who can remain
conscious longest, i can find
a way to spin staying
conscious longest
into a victory. And there your thigh
resting against the apricot
of my knee, and now i
think of next week’s dinner,
and that span of years in which
my family would repeat almost
to exactness the same ritual, much as you
and i do now dear, with my rest always
more a struggle to come to than
yours at least
that’s what i keep telling myself here
in total dark
it becomes possible to realize that everything
i mean to say of ross gay’s poems i mean
of you, as well. to demonstrate
if i say i’d like
to wake up, pivot, and find myself
gazing upon the countenance of Ross Gay’s catalog
of unabashed gratitude i’m liable to privately
be referring to yours.
But also if Ross Gay were to hear this
it would be worth explaining
that i say such a thing knowing affection,
at least, to be more trench than sinkhole.
which, written a second time, keeps coming out to
maybe it wouldn’t be so bad
to admit i too love unicorns. And when the holidays arrived
we would carry the lamb out
of the oven and rub it sticky
sweet with chutney, pile golden
orange fruit around it, halve them,
let them open so not like a wound. I’ve done this
with the few i love, and more than once, dug
into sweetness, on some
night prior to but not unlike this one, and
with the lights on surely you must
have seen the scar, some injury sustained in youth
carried like a sack of rock across a
quarry of holidays, little bird, but you’re asleep now,
it’s certain, I can hear the snores pick up
like wind-chimes beside me
my favorite part of america has shut
itself inside that commune known as
dreaming, goodnight my lovely, my sleep
must find its way, gratitude outside the gate.
Benjamin Bartu is a writer and multi-citizen. He graduated from Linfield College with a BA in Political Science and Creative Writing. His work has been featured in The Mekong Review and The Albion Review, among others.
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